Take the Time to Listen

I just got back from visiting teaching. I'm not bragging that I got it done, because I've missed the last 2 months, and I'm not the perfect visiting teacher, so I don't want to make anyone feel inadequate and bad if they haven't gotten theirs done. But I have to tell you that I feel so good, and it really has nothing to do with the visiting teaching. Our visits went fine and all, but it was the ride home that warmed my heart.

We had been visiting with a girl my age whose 9 year old daughter has ADHD along with other problems, and I feel so bad for her and what she has to deal with each and every day with this difficult child. So on the way home, my partner (Ryan's aunt Jenifer) and I were talking about this. We both have boys who are the same age, 9, and sometimes struggle with our sons. Recently they got in some major trouble at scouts together, and it seems like there's always something like this that comes up with Pierce. Don't get me wrong, Pierce is a wonderful boy with such a good heart, but he struggles sometimes controlling himself. Well, I was telling Jenifer how Pierce will just get really angry sometimes. Jenifer pointed something out to me that is nothing new to me, but definitely something I needed to hear. She said sometimes we maybe don't think about what our kids are going through, like if they had a hard day at school, if they had friend trouble or trouble trying to fit in. Maybe they're feeling sad about something or are feeling stressed or worried because they see us as parents stressed or worried. Maybe there's stuff going on with them that they just need or want to talk about but don't know how to. I know when my kids get home from school, the house gets crazy, everyone's in the kitchen getting a snack, there's homework to hurry and get done before we have to go somewhere or do something, everyone's talking at once, and I'm so wrapped up in my transcription work and other things I have on my mind, that I don't take the time to really ask questions and listen to my kids. Sure I always ask them how their day was, and they briefly give me an answer, but I need to do more. Especially where Pierce is concerned. I know he loves it when I give him 1-on-1 time, and I realized today that I need to talk with him more and listen to what he has to say. I need to take a chill-pill and not always be rushing to do stuff. I feel like I'm always rushing!

So this is my therapy right here, talking about this. I'm thankful to know other women who are in the same boat as I am with raising kids. I'm thankful for what I learn from all of you. None of us are perfect, but we're all trying to do the best that we can do. I'm thankful for blogs where we can talk about things like this and where we can give and receive support. I'm thankful for church programs such as visiting teaching, because something good always comes out of it. And I'm thankful for the little light that went on inside of me when Jenifer talked to me about this. This is something I need to work on, and I didn't see it until we talked. So communication is key, we all know that. It's so important with our kids, and if we don't communicate and connect with them now, then we might not be able to later.