Longing...

What a word. Longing. This describes my life for the past nine months (3 years actually). Limbo does also, as our lives are and have been in limbo indefinitely. I feel as if I'm hanging by a thread and that at any moment that thread will snap, and then what? Things are happening but I'll spare you the details until we have further news. I'll just say that I am learning more and more to trust the Lord's will, even if it is not what I have planned or what I want. Patience....faith....trust....hope....humility....what does it really mean to have these? I used to think I knew but that was nothing until now.

So I've spent a lot of time pondering, praying, humbling myself and being with those I love. I eat, sleep, work, take care of my family and have not wanted to spend time blogging. It's the last priority on my list right now and I just feel like I want to be in my own little world, my own little cocoon, snug and warm until brighter days come. I'm longing for sunshine. I'm longing to go for walks and be out in nature, for that is one of my favorite ways to commune with God, but all I see is falling snow. I NEED this Easter/conference weekend to feed my soul and calm my spirit. I know it will be beautiful. I wish you all a peaceful and meaningful Easter.

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's life may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

~Wendell Berry